Friend of the site Owen Bates has had a blog called Metro Line 13 on the site for a few months now. Do check it out; we are interested in hosting at least a few more blogs. Here’s my favorite piece from Owen:
Shakespeare at His Agent
—Come in, sit down. It’s good to see you! How’ve you been?
—Fairest-tempered, if I do self-contemplate.
—Ha-ha, yes! I’m—no, we’re just super. I just got off the phone with the Arts editor at the Times. They want to do a cover for their theater issue, a “day in the life” kind of a thing. I penciled you in for the 5th, alright?
—Well… thou dost perchance infringe upon plans yet earthly laid.
—Could you move things around? This is big.
—In hypothetical rumination, still I know not the consequence of—
—Super. More news: Disney has a TV pitch for you. Everyone knows that Romeo and Juliet died at the end of your play. What this show presupposes is: maybe they didn’t?
—I am not of proper certainty—
—Hold on a sec. Imagine if the two star-crossèd lovers had to put up with a crazy old butler, Bartholomew, that they got from a dead uncle or nobleman or something, and they got dragged into wacky, family-friendly adventures when he just would not sit still. They’ll call it “Wherefore Bart Thou?” That’s the catchphrase, too!
—This seems not to be in accordance with my will for the heritage of my own theatrical composition.
—Shakes-e-poo, I’m not going to beat around the bush. You want to be big. I want you to be big. This is how we get big. Market saturation.
—If it must be so, let it… The conclusion of our dialogue, hast thou reached it?
—Actually: what would you think of “Othello—The Game?”